One of the incredible awarenesses that emerge when we begin to work with our dreams is how little access we have to our feelings. We think we know our feelings. We have thoughts, opinions, judgments and even emotional reactions (unfelt core feelings covered over with a lot of story)…all which protects us from the deeper truer and therefore difficult to feel feeling.
A dream client of mine, an incredibly smart fellow, has experienced this struggle most of us face. We spend a lot of time in our heads, in our discursive minds. How do we make the descent from our head to our heart? During a difficult dream encounter, where he (any of us) would usually have turned to worry or to caretaking rather than feel what was there just under the surface…he did something new…something remarkable. He was aware of his anxiety (fear of what might happen) in that moment, didn’t go to his head, to judging, fixing…instead he turned to the feeling underneath it all…pain. He was willing to feel his pain of lack of connection and under that his desire for connection. He was willing to be vulnerable and turn to the characters in the dream who were there to support him in this. He wasn’t alone. In that seemingly simple movement of turning towards them…he felt the love, was in the love. We stayed quietly in this new feeling for a few moments and then he said, “This reminds me of a scene in E.T.”
Scientist: You said it (E.T.) has the ability to manipulate its own environment?
Michael: He’s smart. He communicates through Elliott.
Scientist: Elliott thinks its thoughts.
Michael: No, Elliott…Elliott feels his feelings.
To be connected to others, not through our thoughts, our minds…our outer way of being in relationship but through our hearts…through our souls…through the feeling connection…
Mary Jo Heyen is a certified Natural Dreamwork Practitioner working with clients in person, phone or video conference. Learn more about her work with dreams at www.maryjoheyen.com.