One of the incredible awarenesses that emerge when we begin to work with our dreams is how little access many of us have had to our feelings.
Up until then we think we know our feelings. What most of us have are thoughts, opinions, judgments and even emotional reactions, that is a true feeling covered over with a reaction, which protects us from the deeper feeling underneath, be it love, pain, joy, sorrow, fear…
A dream client of mine, an incredibly smart fellow, has experienced this struggle most of us face…how do we make the descent from our head to our heart? How do we make the move from the mind which likes to talk about feelings to the heart which lets us feel them?
Dream by dream he became more willing to feel underneath the reaction and his inner work deepened. He began to recognize and stay open to the supportive relationships in his dreams. During a particularly difficult moment in a dream, where he (any of us) would usually have turned to worry or to caretaking…he did something new…something remarkable. He felt his usual anxiety in that moment, didn’t go to his head, to judging, fixing…instead he turned to the difficult feeling underneath it all…the pain of lack of connection.
Taking a breath into the pain…letting it move…he started to feel what was under the reaction…under the pain…his desire for connection…and turned to the beloveds in the dream. In that movement of turning towards them… he felt the love, was in the love. We sat in silence in this new feeling for a few moments letting it, too, move through him and then he said quietly, “This reminds me of a scene from E.T.”
Scientist: You said it (E.T.) has the ability to manipulate its own environment?
Michael: He’s smart. He communicates through Elliott.
Scientist: Elliott thinks its thoughts.
Michael: No, Elliott…Elliott feels his feelings.
Elliott feels his feelings. To be connected to others, not through our thoughts, our mind but through our hearts…our souls…through the feeling connection…
Mary Jo Heyen is a certified Natural Dreamwork Practitioner working with clients in person, phone or Skype. Learn more about her work with dreams at www.maryjoheyen.com.